Who’s In Charge?

Your writing life is the sum of all the writing-related choices you make. Choosing means to make a decision each time you come to a particular crossroads. Most decisions are not deliberate. Instead we unconsciously follow our habits, choosing what is easiest because it’s what we’ve done for years. We choose negative thoughts about our abilities, we choose negative attitudes about our progress, and we follow with negative actions of not setting goals and not writing.

Choice or Habit?
Although many of your choices have become automatic habits, each one is still a choice you make. So if you want to have a successful writing career (however you define “success” for yourself), you must control the process of choosing. You must begin to notice your choices, moment by moment. Think about what you’re thinking about! Then start making consistently better daily choices. Take control of your writing life by being in charge of yourself.

Writers make critical decisions in three areas every day–sometimes every hour. Wake up! Train yourself to be a close observer of your choices. You come to a fork in the road hundreds of times each day, and each time you have a choice to make. Beginning today, consciously choose the direction that leads to your writing goals.

1. Thoughts
If you want to make changes that last, you must change the way you think. Your mental and emotional framework needs adjusting. You must focus on getting your MIND moving in the right direction. The way you think will ultimately dictate your long-term success or failure. Certain thoughts and beliefs will derail you before you even get started. (”I’m not good enough.” “I don’t have the talent I need.” “It’s who you know in this business, and I don’t know anyone important.” “I don’t have the time/energy/family support to write.”) Take time to recognize which particular issues negatively affect your choice to write.

Perhaps your thoughts about writing contain a few myths that need exploring–and debunking. Do you think that you’ll be a happy writer if you just manage to get published? You might be–but probably only if you’re happy before you get published. Grumpy, negative, passive writers who achieve publication tend to be grumpy, negative, passive writers with a publishing credit. Publication itself won’t make you happy.

Do you think there is a magical short-cut to writing success? You DO need to study your craft, but are you on the constant lookout for the latest quick fix writing book or article, the latest get-published-quick scheme? Do you think, if you just find the “key,” you’ll get published immediately? Although we’re a society of instant gratification promoters, it is still true that excellent writers don’t spring up overnight–they are grown.
S-l-o-w-l-y.

Do you think it’s someone else’s fault that you aren’t published? Do you have a general mental habit of blaming your lack of success on others? While it’s a human tendency to do so, this kind of thinking will keep you stuck–and unpublished. Every career has obstacles to conquer on the way to success, and writing is no different. The obstacles only change from time to time. (Obviously, writers fifty years ago did not worry about their hard drives crashing or scanners not working.) But writers of all ages have had barriers to overcome. At one time women writers had to disguise what they were doing–and even use a male pen name in order to get published!

Choosing your thoughts is noticing when a thought like this passes through your head (”When am I going to get published? I’ve been submitting for months and months! I should just quit!”) and replacing it with one that is both true and positive. (”Getting published takes time for all new writers, and if I’m persistent and consistent in my efforts to improve and market well, I will probably get published eventually!”) At first, it’s reinforcing to say these new thoughts out loud.

2. Attitudes
Changing your thoughts will change your attitudes and emotional feelings about writing. Instead of postponing happiness until you get published, choose to be content with your writing today. Choose to enjoy the act of putting words down on paper to capture an image. Choose to enjoy delving into your memories for a kernel of a story idea. Choose to enjoy the process of reading back issues of magazines you want to submit to. Choose to enjoy reading a book on plot or dialogue or characterization for tips you can apply to your stories. Instead of feeling pressured to succeed quickly, choose to be patient with your learning curve. Choose to be happy about each small, steady step forward.

Look at the larger picture, how each writing day is another small building block laying the foundation of your career. Stay present in the present! Pace yourself with the determined attitude of the tortoise instead of the sprinter attitude of the hare.

You also need to choose an attitude of commitment. Commit to your goals and deadlines, to continued improvement in your writing, and to dealing with negative feelings as they come up. Commitment is more than “I wish” or “I’d like.” Commitment is “I will.” There is a huge difference! (Like the gap between a man saying, “Gee, I’d like to marry you” and “Will you marry me–here’s the ring–let’s set a date!”) Move from the wishy-washy attitude of “I’d like to be a writer” to the commitment level of “I’ll do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to be a successful writer.” Attitudes of self-control and self-discipline will make those small daily changes that add up.

3. Actions
That committed attitude will make choosing your actions easier. When you’re willing to do whatever it takes to revamp your personal life so you can write, the choices become clear. You will do things like choosing to write before doing the dishes, even though it bugs you to leave dirty dishes in the sink. You will choose to write for an hour instead of watch TV or talk on the phone. You will choose to have that lower carb/higher protein lunch so your writing energy is high all afternoon. You will choose to retire at a decent hour so you’re alert to create the next morning. You’ll consciously choose to make quality time with your family so you can write without feeling guilty–and without being neglectful. Instead of a mental wish list, you’ll choose to set goals, write them down, and even make a poster for your wall so you’re staring at them daily. You will choose to settle family quarrels and resolve conflicts partly because NOT doing so saps all your writing energy.

You will make choices in all areas of your life that will support your writing instead of making it more difficult. Each time you come to a fork in the road, make a choice and be in charge of your writing. Each choice might look small, but these decisions add up to your life. Do find that freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself–and thus, your writing.

“If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.” —Napoleon Hill