self-care

Living the 5-Minute Life

Published on by Kristi Holl

I’m too old, I’m too tired, I can’t write for hours anymore… But something won’t let me quit writing! Is there a solution?

Through a lot of trial and error, I found the solution for me: the 5-Minute Life. It didn’t just revolutionize my writing. You can also break a bad habit, or start a good habit, or rest when you’re weary—all in 5-Minute slices of your day.

Solving Problems, 5 Minutes at a Time 

Want to break a habit of overeating at a meal and not stopping when you’ve had enough? After your meal, set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes and do something else. Maybe you’ll still eat more when the timer dings, but many times you won’t. The craving actually disappears in about 90 seconds, according to “habit experts.”

Want to start a new habit? Maybe lift weights, floss your teeth, write on your work-in-progress daily? Set your kitchen timer for 5 minutes, and when it dings, you can quit! Or, if you feel like going longer, you can and often will. (Getting started is usually more than half the battle, and you conquered that. Staying in motion is immeasurably easier.)

What about weariness or those pesky aches and pains? When you realize that your body is protesting, stop and set your timer for 5 minutes. Close your eyes and do deep breathing. Listen to uplifting music, something that soothes your soul. Wander around your back yard and see what’s blooming. You’ll be amazed how much 5 minutes can refresh you. (Just don’t waste it on your phone, email or social media. You’ll feel worse instead.)

“It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.” ~~James Clear, author of Atomic Habits

WELL, YES . . . AND NO.

Live the 5-Minute Life? How?

“To crave the result [the finished manuscript] but not the process [your writing habits, or eating habits, or sleeping habits, etc.] is to guarantee disappointment.”

I had a suspicion that something was wrong with my process. After floundering, I would have wonderful energetic re-starts, but the older I got, the amount of time I could stick to my writing schedule grew smaller. No matter how you take care of your health, age happens (if you’re lucky) and energy declines a bit each year.

I was sick and tired of giving up, getting depressed over NOT writing, then reading motivational books, praying hard, making check charts for the closet door to keep track of my work hours…and after a week or so, quitting again.

When younger, I could keep a rigorous writing schedule while teaching and raising kids, but not now at 71. I wanted to live the process and love it, but I found myself no longer able. [And it still bugs me to admit this.] Did that mean I had to quit writing books? It was beginning to seem so. 

But, but, but…

What if I could invent a writing process that I COULD fall in love with all over again? When I started writing and publishing in 1983, I had to work my writing around a newborn, a toddler, and a newly adopted boy from Korea who spoke no English. But I found a writing process (writing in bits and pieces) that worked for me then, so I launched my career (while we added yet another baby.) Many of those experiences became my two writing books, Writer’s First Aid and More Writer’s First Aid.

The More Things Change…

. . . the more they stay the same.

I’m no longer scrambling for bits of time in the same way. But getting started writing when not feeling well or when busy with volunteer and grandchildren activities still takes some grit. However, writing or marketing for five minutes is doable for anyone.

Yes, more than half the time, my 5-minute chunks of writing or marketing stretched into 30-45 minutes. Even when it didn’t, though, I was astounded by how much I could do in 5 minutes–just like I had trained myself to do during the baby years. I started giving myself high fives for every bit I wrote. Silly maybe, but it worked!

Where There’s a Will

I stop for different reasons now, of course. It’s not because a toddler fell and cut her lip or a baby needs changing. It is more often the aches in my wrists [shattered left wrist in 2017 and broken right hand in 2019] that crawl up my arms. But while stopping is different, starting is remarkably similar.

Give it a shot and see! Live the 5-Minute Writing Life!

Focus Shift: Photoshop Your Moods!

Published on by Kristi Holl

In addition to a Covid family death, I lost two friends in December, plus my last (and favorite) uncle. The focus was on grieving, plus a severe autoimmune flare-up it caused.

With Christmas around the corner, I found it difficult to feel the joy of the season. And writing? That felt out of the question, so my work-in-progress languished. Everywhere I turned were reminders of loss and the pain of suffering loved ones left behind. It seemed there was little I could do but pray and endure and pretend to be happy, so that I didn’t dampen anyone else’s holidays.

But there was more I could do, which I learned inadvertently from my teenage granddaughter, Abby. She’s taking dozens of my W.I.P. England photos, resizing and refocusing them for use in blogs, plus Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest posts. I watched her change photos from bright and cheery to somber and shadowy, in keeping with my mystery series.

Photoshop Your Days

Abby was taking reality (the amateur photos I took), and either brightening or darkening the mood by what she chose to emphasize. So, I tried it myself, experimenting with a Yorkshire Dales graveyard photo (shown first below.) Using cropping and blurring and tints and hues, I brightened the mood (the second photo) and then used the same techniques in reverse to darken the mood (the third photo.)

Here is a shift away from the darker elements to a brighter spot in the photo. Definitely a cheerier mood.

Here is a shift in focus again, but this time ignoring the brighter spots, but focusing on the somber, darker elements.

A light dawned. Could I finagle with my own downcast soul in the same way I adjusted the photos? Could I take the circumstances of loss and sickness—the true snapshot of my current life—and adjust my mood by choosing what to focus on? What could I crop out that wasn’t helpful to focus on? Could I brighten the tone? What heightened contrast would give a truer perspective?

Focus on Eternal Truths

Yes, the truth was that those were sad days. But what else was true? These loved ones were out of pain now. I trusted that I’d see them again one day. True, I felt unwell, but thanks to Covid isolation, I was already expert at ordering food via Instacart. So two Christmas dinners arrived with all the prep work done. And since I love Christmas music and movies, I filled the empty spaces with more intentional joy. It was Philippians 4:8 in action.

But in addition to changing the focus to things that were true and uplifting and kind, I had to crop out a few things from the current picture. First was to stop thinking about negative events in the world and in the extended family that, beyond fervently praying, I couldn’t change. I reviewed my old copy of Codependent No More by Melody Beattie to remind myself what problems I was responsible for, and which problems in the extended family I clearly was not responsible for fixing. And stepping back to view the whole situation made it look much less disheartening.

Making these seemingly small changes reminded me of another book on my shelves, The Upward Spiral: Using Neuroscience to Reverse the Course of Depression, One Small Change at a Time by Alex Korb, PhD. According to science, these small “photo app” changes  shift brain chemistry from depression to hopeful joy. I even read some of my own blog posts, like From Panic to Focus: Save Your Writing Project and Find Your Focus: Stick to the ONE Thing.

So, if your 2021 New Year looks less joyous than in previous years (for any reason), don’t despair. Do some creative cropping, change your focus, and brighten the picture. Watch how you are transformed by the renewing of your mind!

[Originally published January 3, 2021, on the American Christian Fiction Writers blog]

Warning: Two Toxic Areas in Your Writing Life

Published on by Kristi Holl
Brain concept illustration

I am fascinated by brain books for the layman, and seeing how that information applies to writers. (See three book links at the end.) Information from the new brain research–if actually applied–could change your writing life.

One book, Who Switched Off Your Brain?, deals with what the author calls “the Dirty Dozen” areas in our lives where we create our own problems, often by well-meaning efforts. This toxic behavior can steal our dreams–including our writing dreams.

Two of the dirty dozen that hit me between the eyes were “toxic seriousness” and “toxic schedules.” 

AHA! #1: Toxic Seriousness

I’ve known for years that negative emotions like anger and unforgiveness can literally make you physically sick. But did you know that an absence of fun in your life can make you sick too, susceptible to every virus that comes along?

Laughter IS the best medicine!

For a lot of reasons, I grew up with the firmly entrenched idea that “life is a serious matter.” People who didn’t take life seriously annoyed me. I thought they simply didn’t understand the situation!

Well sometimes life is no laughing matter, but you still need to incorporate more fun in your life. [I finally understood why I felt so much better physically after spending time with my grandkids, despite being tired. I laugh a lot more on those days!]

Did you know this? Studies show that...

“a really good belly laugh can make cortisol [the stress hormone] drop by 39% and adrenaline by 70%, while the ‘feel-good hormone,’ endorphin, increases by 29%… Laughter boosts your immune system by increasing immunity levels and disease-fighting cells.”

Another medical study showed that humor gets both sides of your brain working together, which is so necessary to writers. We need to be both creative and editor-minded (left-brained and right-brained) in order to do our best writing.

So take time to bring fun into your life today–and every day. Look for the humor in situations–or even yourself. Watch a funny video. Read something that tickles your funny bone. Tell a joke!

AHA! #2: Toxic Schedules

My “toxic seriousness” went hand-in-hand with what the author called “toxic schedules.” One had a direct impact on the other. My overly serious attitude about life leads to an over-scheduled week that doesn’t work unless I invent a 48-hour day. And, of course, a packed schedule adds pressure and just reinforces an overly serious attitude.

Current brain research shows that there’s a lot more at risk than just being tired when you over-schedule yourself. Of particular interest to writers, without sufficient relaxation in your lifestyle,

“you will become a less effective thinker, defeating your ability to accomplish the mental tasks that stole our relaxation in the first place. In fact, for the brain to function like it should, it needs regroup/consolidation time. If it doesn’t get this, it will send out signals in the form of high-level stress hormones, some of which are epinephrine, norepinephrine and cortisol. If these chemicals constantly flow, they create a ‘white noise’ that increases anxiety and blocks clear thinking and the processing of information.”

To put it another way, relaxation is NOT a waste of your time. You’re doing your brain–and all of your writing processes–a big favor.

Live–and LEARN

So how did that information impact my life? I spend plenty of time with my grandkids (ages 6, 8, 14, and 17), guaranteed to produce the belly laughs I need. And I take off one day during the week ALONE to rejuvenate (yes, I’m an introvert). I do spend Sundays at church, visiting family, relaxing with hubby with a movie, and hiking. Sorry to say, but I find that tiring too. But if/when I get the day off alone (or even just several guilt-free hours), I sleep like a rock and face the work week rejuvenated.

I’d encourage you to make some guilt-free habits along the same lines to bring laughter into your life and margins of time into your days. Until you try it, you won’t believe the difference it can make in your writing life. If you have small children, work out a deal with someone you trust to trade half-days of child-free time. I wish I had done that when my kids were small.

Just curious…what kinds of things make you laugh? I’d like to incorporate more laughter into my life. Please give me ideas below!

For more information and links to three terrific “brain” books:

 

The Disappearing Writer: Now You See Him, Now You Don’t!

Published on by Kristi Holl

 I appreciate the notes I’ve received since re-starting the blog this month. I was asked a number of times, “Where have you been the last two years?” Because my Writer’s First Aid blog is all about helping writers hang in there and not quitting and not giving up on writing dreams, it’s certainly a legitimate question. As one person asked, “When writers disappear, where do they go?”

So this post is more about me and my life than most posts I write. Hopefully, you will be encouraged not to quit when life “happens,” as it does to us all. The last two years, it just happened that a LOT of life happened. Some events were quite painful, some intensely annoying, and some brought great joy. In each case, I learned valuable lessons. So . . . here are main events since I disappeared!

My Mom’s Sudden Passing

Mom and Dad’s engagement picture, 1948

Two years ago this month, at the time of my last new blog post, I was battling some symptoms (losing eyesight, exhaustion, hair falling out, not sleeping), plus I’d signed too many book contracts and was struggling to keep up. My mom in Florida (88) had had major heart surgery and other hospitalizations. Then my sister called to say Mom (who had recovered SO well and was even back to ballroom dancing) had died suddenly. So the summer of 2016 passed in a blur as we dealt with estate matters, cleaned out her house where she’d lived for 41 years, and got it sold. As those of you who have been through this process know, it takes a while to recover.

Sign on Gravestone: I Told You I Was Sick

During this time, I continued to get sicker, but doctors kept writing the symptoms off as “aging” issues that I needed to accept. Not very helpful! I burned the midnight oil Googling symptoms. Long story short on the health issues: when you are sure there is something wrong and doctors aren’t/won’t/can’t order the tests you need, find an independent lab nearby and order the tests yourself. I’m so glad I did!

By the time I could convince doctors that there was something seriously wrong with me, I had had the lab work done, got a diagnosis, and started a treatment program of my own found through reading online, watching conference videos, and studying current medical research. By the time doctors diagnosed my main issue, I had been on a treatment program of supplements and major dietary changes and was starting to see improved lab results. Be proactive in your own healthcare! It’s an ongoing learning process, but I am thrilled to feel better now than I have in years.

New Books Out

I was writing a lot during this time, and here are the last six adult mysteries I have had published by Annie’s Publishing. [I had someone ask if this was self-publishing. No, it isn’t. This company does many mystery series, and I have written for four of their series. They publish in hardcover, and now ebooks too, I’ve heard. https://www.anniesfiction.com/]

      

     

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing for my own age group after only writing fiction for children nearly thirty years. The only mistake I made was signing too many contracts at first, not taking into account the length difference between adult and children’s books. That sounds like a no-brainer, I know, but it didn’t register till later. You can read about them here if you want to know the plots: https://www.kristiholl.com/mysteries-for-adults-and-children/

Watch Your Step!

In April of 2017, I was gardening in the back yard, stepped backward without thinking, and tripped over a full watering can. I went down hard on our rocky dry Texas soil, tried to brace my fall, and broke my left wrist in four places and popped out my left shoulder. I avoided surgery but had to have three casts over eleven weeks, as they put me in traction and lined up each bone so it would attach. (I have tiny bones, without enough to attach steel plates and rods to, so I’m glad they avoided surgery.) They have a saying at the hospital: “crooked arm equals straight bone.” It was hard to believe when I saw the finished casts, but the x-rays did indeed show all the bone pieces in straight lines. [After seeing the shape of the cast, it made sense that physical therapy had to follow.]

I still had contracts to fulfill, and thankfully I had broken the left wrist. I used to enjoy writing by hand, so that’s what I did, filling up spiral notebooks and writing 55,000 words by hand in a couple of weeks. [I actually DID enjoy writing with no distractions that come with a computer. Your paper and pen don’t ding, squeak, ring or crash.]

Where There’s a Will, There’s a Way

Once the last cast came off, I had to start typing, but after all summer in casts, my wrist was frozen in a position with the thumb pointing up. I couldn’t rotate my wrist so that the palm faced up or down. I knew that the physical therapy later for my wrist would correct this, but in the meantime, I couldn’t type on a regular keyboard.

However, I found a new keyboard online that looked like something out of a Star Wars movie. It didn’t matter that my wrist was frozen in place because with this keyboard, you type with your thumbs pointed up. It is for people to cure carpal tunnel syndrome or who have had a broken wrist or wrist surgery. My speed was very slow, and I had to do a lot of one-finger correcting, but the book got turned in on time, and I took a break then.

Blessings in the Brokenness

I had had a lot of thinking time when in my casts since I couldn’t drive, and for a long time it was painful to ride anywhere in a car. It gave me time to think, to evaluate my frenetic writing lifestyle, and make some changes.

I remembered a book project that I’d put on the back burner for more than five years, one of those projects that you’re not sure will sell, but you’d love to write anyway. I decided it was now or never. Who knew when I might encounter another deadly watering can? So that’s the project I’m working on now. 

Wedding Bells!

The most joyous event in recent years happened just two months ago. My middle daughter, Laurie, was married outdoors at a ranch in Tucson, and she was just the most beautiful bride. All four of my grandkids had parts in the wedding. I try to respect my kids’ privacy, but I’m going to post just one photo of the girls and me. Our whole family welcomed her husband, Jeff, with open arms. Isn’t it wonderful how a joyous event like this can totally eclipse the tougher events?

 

I’m Going to Summer Camp! Are You?

Camp NaNoWriMo is a writing challenge that happens in July. It’s different from NaNoWriMo in November because you can work on ANY type of creative project of any length, not just a 50,000-word novel. First drafts or revision, scripts or stories or poems or essays… all are welcome! You track your goals based on word count, hours, or pages, and they welcome word-count goals between 30 and 1,000,000 words.

You join an online cabin with up to 20 other writers. It starts tomorrow, and it’s still not too late to create a cabin or join someone else’s cabin. I like small groups myself. My cabin has only two people in it: my long-time writer friend and accountability partner and me. If you’re interested in joining a cabin of your own, check it out: https://campnanowrimo.org

I’m glad to be back in contact with you all. And thank you for notes I’ve received this month after I resurfaced. Writers make the best community!

Resting and Reflecting Before Re-Aligning

Published on by Kristi Holl

Since I last posted regularly, I’ve written three books (two adult mysteries and one juvenile nonfiction book), traveled, and been sick. The holidays blurred by, to be honest, because one of the book deadlines was December 20th. Two days ago I finished the second adult mystery.

One good thing about being sick is all the time you’re forced to be still: in waiting rooms, in recovery at home, in the night. Quiet time. Thinking time. Evaluating time.

HIATUS

What should happen when you take a hiatus from your regular life? [Hiatus = time off.] Among other things, I disappeared from my blog, newsletter and social media. I dropped out of several things at church for a while, and–this was the hardest–had to say ‘no’ a lot to my girls regarding babysitting my grandchildren.

An article, sustainable trauma recovery: taking a hiatus boosts MOTIVATION, by Robyn Mourning explains a healing process well. Her three-point recovery plan included rest, reflection, and getting re-aligned. A hiatus can be months away from your normal routine, or a week off, a weekend, half a day, or an hour long.

How should you spend your hiatus, if you want to feel the full benefits?

REST

Rest: take a breather, relax, stretch, just be.

At first, this was all I could do. I sat…on the couch, in bed with a book, in the backyard swing, down the trail by the pond. I wasn’t even thinking much. Not reading either. Catatonic mostly. Sometimes I walked rather zombie-like, appalled at how winded I was just walking! (I won a 5K race in my age group two years ago.) The walking and stretching helped get rid of the headaches and backaches from sitting too long. Being in nature is also very healing for me.

REFLECT

Reflect: become aware of your progress, what you’ve done so far, notice any big or small shifts that are providing hope and fostering resiliency.

I knew I was making progress when I wanted to read again and could focus and stay awake to read. I had a stack of fiction books (over 20) and nonfiction books (25) that had piled up this past year, unread. I also began to reflect on how I had managed to get myself into such a situation so that I didn’t repeat it.

Most of the problem was that I had scheduled myself with no margin at all last year. If NOTHING extra had come up, there wouldn’t have been a problem. But lots of extra things did occur, and being sick so often wasn’t on my calendar either. It was one of those “life happens when you’ve made other plans” kind of years. No one’s fault. My planning wasn’t wrong, but it had been unwise in the extreme not to build in any margin.

RE-ALIGN

Re-align: get re-aligned (or strengthen your alignment) with your unique purpose, your values, your goals.

Upon resting and reflecting, I realized there were a few important things I had let go of when things got so busy. One was proper exercise and sleep. One was time with friends. Another included a couple family members I lost touch with. So it was then time to re-align. I used a couple of tools for this.

One tool was the book Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy, which is new. It came with many, many free online resources, including an excellent test which shows what parts of your life are working well–and which parts you’re drifting in, just trying to keep your head above water without being sucked down by the undertow. It pinpointed two more places I’d let slide without realizing it. Doing the Life Plan has helped me get my values re-aligned with how I spend my time.

The other book that is helping me get re-aligned is When the Body Says NO: Exploring the Stress-Disease Connection by Gabor Mate, M.D. It has been eye-opening, not at all what I expected. I’m still learning from this one.

REST. REFLECT. RE-ALIGN. You’ll be glad you did. 

The Power of Intermittent Recovery

Published on by Kristi Holl

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

From the book The Power of Full Engagement:

To be an effective energy manager, you need to spend nearly all of your time fully engaged in the high positive energy quadrant or recovering your energy by spending time doing things in the low positive energy quadrant.

Definition of Terms

The low positive energy quadrant consists of doing activities that leave you relaxed, mellow, peaceful, tranquil and serene. For me, that means reading a good book or watching a good movie or spending time with certain people with whom I’m on the same sympathetic wavelength.

For you, such positive-energy producing activities may include fishing, golf, sitting in your porch swing, listening to music, going for a bike ride or stroll, or any number of things. The important point is this: unless you spend sufficient short periods throughout your day in intermittent recovery, you’ll burn out and experience a host of other unpleasant symptoms.

Is It Really That Important?

Yes, if you spend all day writing furiously on your novel, zipping along in your high energy positive quadrant, you’ll produce an amazing amount of work. That day, anyway. Maybe even two days in a row, but that will be it.

By relentlessly spending mental energy without recovery, you’ll be tired, anxious, irritable—and self-doubt will inevitably set in. In a tired state, our stories stink, our ideas sound hackneyed, and our prose deadly dull. At that point, we end up taking off more time from the writing than we would have if we’d made ourselves take those intermittent breaks throughout the writing day. (Trust me on this. I speak from experience.)

The Pay-Off

What’s the result of taking those short “low positive energy” recovery breaks? You’ll come back to your work more energized, less ache-y in the neck and back, and more emotionally upbeat.

The emotional component is just as important as your physical energy level! Defusing the bombs of self-doubt and anxiety will help your writing as much as feeling re-energized. And in the end, you’ll write more, not less, by taking the short breaks throughout the day. This is one of my 2016 goals.

Now I think I’ll try it myself and step outside into the lovely Texas sunshine.

Self-Care for Writers Series

Published on by Kristi Holl

If your year has included sickness and/or a lot of deadlines, and you’re dragging yourself into the New Year, I want to point you to a series on self-care for writers.

I am making self-care my “push goal” for 2016. (Michael Hyatt calls a push goal the one goal that, if you met it, would greatly impact all your other goals.) Recovered health will impact my new year more than anything else at this point.

Here is the series. As Cec Murphy says, it’s for writers who only write an hour or who write full-time. Enjoy! Take better care of yourself!

  • Self-Care for Writers Part 1
  • Self-Care Part 2
  • Self-Care Part 3
  • Self-Care Part 4
  • Self-Care Part 5
  • Self-Care Part 6
  • Self-Care Part 7
  • Self-Care Part 8 
  • Self-Care Part 9
  • Parts 10 and 11 are to come yet!

Writers Running on Adrenaline

Published on by Kristi Holl

What fuel are you running on?

Many writers these days are frantically running from place to place, working too many hours, volunteering for too many projects, working nights and weekends hoping for approval.

On top of that, in order to write, they are fueled by sugar, caffeine, cigarettes and adrenaline to keep going.

Long-Term Damage to Career and Health

I don’t need to tell you that we live “on alert” these days. We are bombarded from so many information sources. We allow ourselves to be at the beck and call of anyone who calls or texts our cell phone or shoots us an email.

Adrenaline rushes work in the short term. Used like a drug, it pushes tired bodies to work faster and harder. The end result, though, is a crash-and-burn depletion of your reserves.

Go Against the Flow

Do you want to have a long-term writing life? Then while you still have time–while you still have your health–I urge you to develop a counter-cultural lifestyle. Look at your life now. Make a list of the things that have stressed you out this past week.

(No groceries in the cupboard because a meeting ran late and you couldn’t stop at the store? Phone call from a teacher saying little Johnny forgot his required permission slip for the day’s field trip? News of a violent crime in a part of your city you considered safe? A bounced check? Having to work late at night while everyone else is sleeping, just to keep life from derailing?) All of these things make us run on adrenaline that wears down our bodies. And nearly all of these things are preventable.

Replace the Old with the New

Habits that cause you to run on adrenaline are habits that need to be replaced. I can’t tell you which habits you need to exchange, but I can share some of mine.

  • I used to routinely arrive places out of breath and a little bit late, tearing into meetings or classes after the program had begun. So embarrassing. I would sweat it on the way to the meeting, and backed-up traffic skyrocketed my blood pressure. I hated to waste time, so I hated arriving somewhere early and waiting. The change I made? To avoid the adrenaline rush, I planned to leave early enough to arrive early, but took work or a book along, stayed in the parking lot and worked, then walked in calmly ten minutes before the class started.
  • I knew that the days I DIDN’T run on adrenaline were the days I started with exercise and devotional reading and prayer. And yet, too many times, I’d awake feeling energetic, consider the two hours I’d lose if I stuck to my exercise/devotional regimen, and jump into writing instead. Make hay while the sun shines, right? Mostly, I made headaches and a sore back and neck, lowering my productivity. I decided to make my morning ritual non-negotiable. My health regimen actually saves me time in the long run. And I run those days, not on adrenaline, but on healthy energy supplies.
  • I also set a boundary on working in the evenings. I couldn’t see what difference it would make if, while chatting or watching a good movie with my husband, I also answered some email and updated my websites. Most of it was “no think” activity, so what did it harm? A lot, I discovered. My mind wouldn’t shut off when I shut off the computer to go to bed. My neck and back hurt terribly by then. And I felt disgruntled, like I hadn’t had any free time at all that day.

Mostly, I had to convince myself that it wasn’t selfish to slow down and live at a sane pace, to build in a buffer zone or margin around activities so I could make a smooth (not frantic, hurried) transition from one thing to another. What’s that old saying? “We’re supposed to be human beings, not human doings.”

It’s Up to You

No one can make changes for you. And frankly, many people in your life who like all the work you accomplish won’t help you make changes. But make them you must. If you want to have a decent quality of writing life, you’ll have to step outside this current “hurry frantically” electronic culture of ours, and figure out what works for YOU to have a saner, happier life.

Running on premium fuel instead of adrenaline will make you more productive, less stressed, and be better for your health. Saner writers are happier, more productive writers. And doesn’t that sound appealing?

A Writing Retreat Re-Defined

Published on by Kristi Holl

Last weekend I spoke at a writers’ conference, and my last talk was on self-coaching and self-care. If no one else got anything valuable from the talk, I did.

I realized as I preached about self-care for writers that my own had slipped badly. That was part of the reason I was talking armed with cough drops and hot tea with honey.

I needed some time apart to get rejuvenated. I needed a retreat.

I Don’t Have the Time or Money!

Most of us have preconceived ideas of what a “writer’s retreat” would look like for us. Anything outside that box (we think) just wouldn’t fill the bill. A cabin in the woods–alone. A week at a convent–alone. A long weekend at a hotel with room service–plus writing friends in adjoining rooms. Everyone has an idea of the perfect writing retreat. And that’s often why our internal response is, “But I don’t have the time or money for that.”

So, if that’s your situation, what do you do when your body and mind scream for a retreat? Dig into The Writer’s Retreat Kit: A Guide for Creative Exploration and Personal Expression by Judy Reeves, author of A Writer’s Book of Days. She challenges writers to think of retreats in other ways–and thus to see the possibilities around us to create such retreats. Her themed retreat ideas can be for a weekend or scaled down to a few minutes, depending on what time you have available.

Make a Mental Shift

Chew on this quote for the weekend and see what you come up with.

Much as I believe that the idea of a writing retreat will always include Time Away Alone (I expect secluded mountain cabins or pri­vate, distant seashores will also remain in our writer’s mind’s eye), I also believe it is possible for each of us to create other, less extensive writing retreats that can refill and restore us, that can be containers enabling us to produce new work and to open us to creative expres­sion and that allow us to dip into the solitude we need to communi­cate with our inner selves.

  • Consider that a writing retreat is not necessarily a place, but a concept.
  • Consider the word retreat not as a noun but a verb.
  • Consider time not as a measure in length, but in depth.
  • Consider the idea of being alone not as being distant from people but as not allowing others to intrude on your solitude.

Get Practical and Make It Happen

In other words, let loose all those old ideas about what is nec­essary for a writing retreat to be “real,” and open your mind and heart to another way of giving yourself this gift of self-care. Get out your notebook and begin listing retreat ideas that last fifteen minutes, an hour, half a day, and a weekend. Brainstorm ideas that range from free to a trip to a European hide-away, if that’s your dream retreat.

Then choose several ideas and put them on your calendar as important appointments with your writer self. I added one ten-minute retreat idea to my daily routine this week, and I’m loving it. That tea and pumpkin spice candle does it for me.

How about you? Do you have mini retreat ideas you could share?

Retreat Time: Is It Possible?

Published on by Kristi Holl

While recovering from an illness I picked up simply (I believe) from being exhausted, I was going through my favorite writing books.

One caught my eye and created an instant longing: The Writer’s Retreat Kit: A Guide for Creative Exploration and Personal Expression by Judy Reeves. It’s like a writer’s retreat in a box, with ideas for one-hour retreats, half-day retreats, weekend retreats and longer. They can be retreats at home or far away.

Retreat: a Definition

Among other things, the author wrote:

A writing retreat isn’t just about the time spent writing. Perhaps equally important as the time spent writing is the time given over to nourishment… For many writers, a retreat is a time for reconnecting with nature, for long walks in quiet woods or beside a restless seashore, for rowing on a lake or canoeing on a river. We long for a soundtrack of birdsong or trickling creek, for the lazy sway of a hammock beneath a shading tree, for a rocking chair on a generous porch, mint tea, a glass of wine or fresh, sweet water within reach. We want someone to bring us lunch. A retreat is a quiet place (except for the birds or maybe the profound purring of cat on lap), and when the time is right and good and when we are ready, it is writing.

Since I have met all five writing deadlines (some book length, some not), I am seriously considering giving myself the “gift of time” that such a retreat would take.

Pressure to Write

I’ve only gone on one writing retreat, and during that time, I felt the pressure to write continually. I had no one to cook for, no Internet connection, no one needing me for anything. It wouldn’t be like that when I returned home, so I felt much pressure to write, write, write!

But oh! A retreat without pressure or guilt? Wouldn’t that be heavenly? It wouldn’t have to be expensive–or even cost anything at all. I live near a pond and greenbelt area to walk in, I have a porch with a swing and three rockers, and I can fix the tea.

It’s the time that will cost me–time away from people and expectations and deadlines. It would be having the guts to say “no, I can’t,” when I’m home and free. Right now, I can barely fathom what it would feel like to retreat like this and not write until I really felt called back to it.

But oh! What an idea! I think I’m going to take a serious look at my calendar!