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A Call to Excellence

Published on by Kristi Holl

Have you lost your passion for writing? Is it harder to get to work than it used to be? Is it writer’s block or burnout? Not necessarily. You may have lost your passion for writing because you’ve lost your passion for excellence.

In the beginning of my writing career, even though I was tripping over babies and toddlers, I made time to write. I really studied magazines and market guides. I bought and read and marked up and re-read many writing craft books. I kept a writer’s notebook handy to jot down detailed character and setting descriptions. I did many writing exercises simply to improve my writing–not with an eye toward selling it. I revised and revised and revised. I let things “sit” before doing a final editing. I read award-winning books, trying to absorb by osmosis how these writers created imaginary worlds.

I wasn’t satisfied to be a good writer–not even a published writer. I wanted to be–tried hard to be–an excellent writer. I was rewarded, I think, when my earliest books won awards, landed on many children’s choice lists, and went into paperback and foreign editions. I have never done more satisfying writing in my life.

Exchanging Excellence for Rushed Writing

But when we turn professional (i.e. begin selling), the emphasis often shifts from sharing our stories and passions with the world to selling the next manuscript, or writing faster, or finding an agent.

Unfortunately, this shift often changes our priorities. Instead of telling a story with excellence, instead of writing an article based on in-depth research, we may subtly ease up on ourselves. Perhaps we don’t do quite as much research. (After all, we only use about 30% of what we unearth anyway.) We write briefer character sketches because (a) they’re too time-consuming, (b) we need to get to the real writing, and (c) less than half the details in those profiles make it into the finished manuscript.

Speed becomes an issue. We read books on writing faster, making more money per hour, finding hot topics. We don’t take time to revise and get critiques and revise some more. Sometimes we can’t, if we’ve become over-committed or we quit our day job to write full-time.

With many projects and deadlines, you may still do acceptable work. But will it be your very best work? Nope. The “hurry hurry” shows, and you end up with books you’re not proud of, that get poor reviews, and that undermine your writer’s self-esteem. “Have I lost it?” you wonder in private. No, you haven’t. But when you rush, the writing suffers. It can’t help it. And your desire to write diminishes.

Deeper Solutions

What can you do about this spiral? Can you get back the passion for your writing that comes from a commitment to excellence? Yes, I believe you can, but it may require overhauling your entire life. Having an excellent writing life is part of leading a life of excellence–period. Writing is only one part of your life.

As I remembered the early years of my writing, I realized that not only had I pursued my writing with passion, I had (in spite of many struggles) pursued excellence throughout my life. My four kids were read to, played with, well taken care of. My house was clean, I cooked nutritious meals from scratch, kept a tidy (huge) vegetable garden, and taught classes at church. I even quilted and created homemade Christmas presents.

A few years ago, I took a hard look at myself. Boy, had I slipped! My husband and I only ate really healthy meals about half the time. My office was often cluttered and dusty. My small flower garden had more weeds than flowers, and I hadn’t quilted in ten years. I had stopped running, but hadn’t replaced it with anything else aerobic. I wasn’t pursuing excellence in any area of my life really. Acceptance of mediocrity–and the dissatisfaction that accompanies it–had settled in.

Back in the Saddle Again…

I decided to clean up my life that week. I started with small changes, but changes toward excellence again. I cooked nutritious meals and froze a week’s worth for convenience. I scoured the house and weeded the flower beds. I sorted, filed, then dumped my piles of “stuff.” My office gleamed. I cleaned the junk off the treadmill and put it to use.

And there was an odd side benefit. When it was time to write, I found my standards had gone up. I took more pains with my writing: doing the daily exercises, keeping a notebook again, nurturing the muse, ignoring hot topics and returning to my own ideas and passions. As I put more effort into my work, I enjoyed it more. As I enjoyed it more, I worked even harder. Momentum built as I grew excited about my writing again. I relearned an old truth: being stretched and challenged renews our passion for our writing.

Living–and Writing–at a Higher Level

A “call to excellence” will look different for each of us. Strive to live an excellent life, not just one where you get by. If you have a day job, arrive on time, work hard, and take care of your personal business elsewhere. Pay your bills on time. Lose that 20 pounds you gained when you had your last baby (who’s now in junior high) or when you stopped playing touch football with the guys on weekends. Cut down on your TV time; watch programs that nourish your mind and spirit. Get exercise and fresh air. Keep commitments and promises, even if you regret having made them.

Believe it or not, deciding to live an excellent life will translate into living an excellent writer’s life too. You–and your readers–deserve that. Don’t settle for less.

Beware! Burnout Ahead!

Published on by Kristi Holl

Published writers, beware!

“Writing is not everything,” Lisa Shearin said in a 2010 Writer Magazine. “And if you want longevity in this business, play isn’t just important–it’s critical. We get so intensely focused on having achieved the dream and working so hard to keep the dream going, that we’re blind to the signs that if we keep going down that road at a fast pace, that dream could quickly turn into a nightmare.”

Recipe for Burnout

I was very glad to read her opinion piece–and I wish that message was published more often. I wish someone had said it to me years ago. Having a healthy drive is good, but letting yourself be driven–by others or your own inner critic–will eventually ruin the joy you originally brought to your writing.

“Dreams are meant to be savored and enjoyed,” Shearin says. “You do have to work hard, but sometimes, the work can wait.”

Too Late

Great advice, but what if you’re already burned out? What if–from overwork, juggling too many jobs and family members, a major loss, or chronic illness–your ideas have dried up? I’ve been there twice in my writing life, and it was a scary place to be.

Peggy Simson Curry spoke about this in a Writer Magazine archive article first published in 1967. She detailed the process she followed to “slowly work [her] way back to writing” and discover what had killed her creative urge in the first place.

Face the Fear

I think most writers would agree with Peggy that fear is at the basis of being unable to write–fear that a writer can’t write anything worth publishing. Burned out writers constantly think of writing something that will sell.

“This insidious thinking,” Curry says, “persuades the writer to question every story idea that comes to him. He no longer becomes excited with glimpses of theme, characters, setting, threads of plot. He can only ask desperately, ‘But who will want it?'”

Healing Choices

Among other suggestions, this writer said it was very important to deliberately get outside, away from the writing, and just enjoy the world around you. In other words, play. [This is one of the best things about having grandkids living close by!]

Coming out of burnout can be done, but it often takes methodical, small daily disciplines to do it. For me, digging in the flower gardens and stitching small quilted wall hangings finally unclogged my creativity. Things that help will be different for each writer.

Have you ever felt burned out with your writing? If so, what helped you to come out of it and write again? If you have a minute, please share an idea with other readers.

Building Writing Muscle

Published on by Kristi Holl

Some years ago the doctor was considering surgery on my elbow. Why? Because I had damaged the joint with a weights routine that was too heavy…way too heavy.

I thought I’d make up for a late start and build up my skinny arms overnight. Instead, for a while I couldn’t lift anything as heavy as a coffee cup without pain, and there was no weight lifting for many months.

Why do we do this to ourselves? I do this in my writing too–and I’ll bet you do as well. We get behind, and then set huge goals. We’ll write five hours a day or send out a query a day. And we burn out so that we don’t want to write at all.

A Solution

Building writing muscle isn’t much different than trying to build body muscle. Rather than going gung-ho at a massive goal, start small. Give yourself doable short goals where you can succeed. Success breeds success. Trying to do too much too soon breeds failure.

In Karen Scalf Linamen’s book Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight, she suggested “making up small, attainable goals just so we could practice the art of turning a goal into reality. What if we made the decision to give up coffee for three days? Or stick with a vegetarian diet for twenty-four hours? Or walk around the block every morning for a week?…Pretty soon, all these smaller victories will give us greater confidence, stamina, and experience. Then when we attempt the bigger decisions–we’ve got muscle. We’ve been practicing. We can do it.”

Apply It to Writing

Instead of promising yourself you’ll write two hours every day, blog five times a week, and send out ten queries each month, start small. Set a goal that virtually insures success. That’s how we build momentum–with a series of successful goals.

How about:

  • write for ten minutes every morning for a week
  • read one chapter per day of a current children’s book
  • read email one hour later, three days in a row
  • check out three writing conferences online

Whatever goals you have–or habits you would like to build–give yourself permission to start smaller. Stretch yourself a tiny bit today. Then set a goal to stretch yourself that little bit three days in a row–then reward yourself for that success.

Like the title of the book says, only nuns change their habits overnight. So take things in smaller bites. Build momentum with smaller successes. Develop the writing habits, slowly but surely. You’ll be flexing those muscles in no time!

Courage and Confidence

Published on by Kristi Holl

When it comes to your writing, do you ever have a crisis of confidence?

It can come from a number of things: destructive (instead of constructive) criticism in your critique group, months and years of rejections (from editors and/or agents), poor reviews or sales when you finally get published, and put-downs from family or friends about your “little hobby.”

A friend of mine who is a published writer, teacher, and writing coach, sent me a quote once. It said, “Courage and confidence come from knowledge and skills–the more you develop knowledge and skills, the more courage and confidence you’ll have.”

Want more writing confidence? This is exactly what happens to us when we buckle down and work on our writing craft.

Buckling Down

Several years ago I embarked on my own self study program when I couldn’t afford to enroll in an MFA program. The study time included a lot more writing and critiquing, plus analyzing successful middle grade novels. I also studied a lot of craft books, tracking the number of hours per week. 

I didn’t meet my goal of 25 study hours per week. In fact, I only logged about 65 hours for a whole month. But that was a lot more study than I had been doing since I started writing many years ago. I am still studying writing craft books, but it’s more like 5-10 hours per week now.

The result? I know my writing is better, which I expected. But the knowledge gave me more courage, more confidence, so when I had a chance to write some adult mysteries for a traditional publisher, I grabbed it. (I just signed a third contract.) Without the studying I’ve done over the last few years, I don’t think I would have even pursued the chance.

Results

Several years ago, I was privileged to attend Jane Yolen’s master novel writing retreat. I still remember her words to us after she’d read and critiqued our manuscripts. She looked around the circle of a dozen writers and said, “Some of you in here are better writers than I am.” She paused while we choked, then added, “But I can guarantee you that none of you write as much as I do.”

At the time, I thought she was telling us that she was much published because she wrote a lot of hours every week. Made sense! Now I wonder if she wasn’t also telling us that writing so many hours was what had honed her skills and knowledge of the language and gave her the courage and confidence to keep submitting things.

Don’t Major on the Minors

If you lack courage and confidence in your writing, try coming at it through the back door. Instead of daily affirmations saying “I’m a GREAT writer,” trying studying your craft to improve your skills.

Sometimes I think we spend too much time analyzing our fears as a way to bolster our courage. Maybe–just maybe–the problem would take care of itself if we planted our seats in our seats and worked harder.

Rejection Stamina: How Much Can YOU Take?

Published on by Kristi Holl

I was reading an old Writer Magazine yesterday, and the article about best-selling (as in over 15 million copies) Meg Cabot caught my eye. She said you need to block out what you read about “overnight successes” in the publishing business.

She points to her own experience with rejection, and I challenge you to read this without fainting:

  • It took her three years of sending out query letters every day to land an agent.
  • Before publishing she got a rejection letter every day in the mail for four years–over 1,000 rejections.

And she didn’t quit! She went on to write over 50 books for juveniles, teens and adults. Her Princess Diaries series became the basis of two hit Disney films.

Slightly Embarrassed

Reading about Meg Cabot’s stick-to-it-iveness made me rather embarrassed for all the times I’ve (1) moaned and groaned about a couple of rejections, and (2) given up on a manuscript after fewer than five rejections. I have four novels in my closet right now that I gave up on after just a few rejections.

This coming year I will be dusting them off, re-reading them for possible revisions, and sending them out again.

Rejection Stamina

How about you? What is your “rejection stamina”? Are you another Meg Cabot? I hope so! Look how her stamina has served her well.

If you’re brave, share how many rejections you receive before giving up on a piece. Also, what’s your best tip for getting a manuscript back in the mail ASAP?

Obnoxious Marketing

Published on by Kristi Holl

I sat down last night to finally go through a stack of magazines and other periodicals that had accumulated. I looked forward to flipping leisurely through the pages, stopping when a title caught my eye.

So why was I fuming within thirty seconds? All that infernal marketing done with post card-type inserts stuck inside. I hate them! Instead of the pages fluttering nicely, they jerk by in clumps unless you take the time first to go through and yank the ads out. I ripped out NINE such inserts in one magazine alone. The stack of worthless garbage littered the floor. It makes me want to boycott their products–not buy them.

Viral Marketing?

Hawking wares–telling people about your product repeatedly–never works on me. I’m affected the same way by email campaigns from people I don’t know in newsletters I didn’t sign up for.

I know that when a new book comes out, we’re supposed to blitz people with “see my new book!” and “watch my new trailer!” and “join me for a free teleseminar!” and “view my podcast!” and “meet the author!” and “read my guest blog tour!” and “read my starred (Amazon) review!” Maybe it works for other people, but I just end up feeling nagged and put off by this after a while.

Where’s the Balance?

I know you need to market, and I like to hear good publishing news as much as the next author. It’s important to be willing to help with marketing your books in this publishing day and age. But there’s a big difference between a couple of announcements and ten blasts. You don’t want to cross over from intriguing a buyer into annoying him.

How do you decide where to draw the line? I very much suspect it’s a personal–and personality–thing. How do YOU feel about it?

Writing Through Physical Pain

Published on by Kristi Holl

When my kids were toddlers and in grade school, I was wired shut for eleven weeks after two jaw surgeries. I’d had some health problems over the years, but being wired shut topped them all. I couldn’t talk to my four small children or even call a friend.

I was dying to talk, but couldn’t. So I hurried to my computer where my characters “talked” onscreen. Dialogue flew back and forth, and (rather surprisingly) this mental conversation went a long ways toward satisfying me. Usually I wrote a MG novel in 5-6 months, but it took me just two months to write Danger at Hanging Rock, turning this post-surgical problem into salable writing.

A Real Pain

Writing about pain and writing through pain is possible. Not FUN, but possible. Health problems crop up routinely. They range from short-term problems (like your son’s broken leg), to things needing constant close attention (like diabetes or arthritis). The most serious problems (like terminal illness or a death in the family) affect us all, sooner or later.

However, instead of quitting, we can also transform these experiences into publishable writing, whether it’s a simple case of the flu or a stay in the hospital. It’s tempting with short-term health problems to abandon our writing “until things settle down.” If at all possible, don’t do that.

Instead, stand back, rethink, and keep going. For example, I finished a mystery called Cast a Single Shadow during my four-year-old daughter’s hospital stay. I couldn’t sleep, so I borrowed a nurse’s clipboard and wrote while the rest of the hospital slept.

Chronic Pain: Another Story

I’ve had TMJ, facial nerve damage from several surgeries, and arthritis in my jaw joints for 30 years. I’ve also had five neck surgeries to deal with a chronic pain condition. The two main challenges for writers and artists with chronic pain are (1) finding the energy to write, and (2) fighting depression.

Writing, as you know, demands a high level of energy, and people fighting chronic pain may use 30-50% of their daily energy just fighting their pain. If chronic pain threatens to stop you from writing, try these things:

  • Accept pain as a fact in your life.  Don’t compare your life with anyone else’s or brood about “how life should be.” It won’t help. Books like Judy Gann‘s excellent title The God of all Comfort: devotions of hope for those who chronically suffer will help and encourage you. You’ll realize that many others deal with chronic pain–and overcome  it. You can too.
  • Fight the depression.  If possible, try writing about the positive aspects of your situation. (“Life’s Simple Pleasures” was an article written by a migraine sufferer about learning to appreciate what most people take for granted, like a night’s sleep, a picnic with the family, or planting tulips.) Any type of writing you enjoy is helpful in fighting depression because it tends to distract you from your pain (like when you forget your headache during an exciting movie).
  • Find the energy. Create mini-goals (for example, writing just fifteen minutes at a time). Divide each writing task into thin, achievable slices. Assure yourself that you only have to complete one mini-goal or slice, then stop if you need to. Pace your activities, even on the days you feel better than usual. Pushing yourself only increases chronic pain.

Terminal Illness

Terminal illness and a death in the family tax your creativity the most. The shock, numbness, and months of extended grief can derail even the most  dedicated writers. However, even in these cases, certain strategies can keep you going.

Why would you even want to keep writing during such a stressful time? The point of it is so that you still have a career when the weeks or months have passed. You don’t have to start over at Square One. Yes, you take the necessary time to grieve or deal with things. However, if you put your writing “on hold” until things are “back to normal,” you may find it too difficult to get started again.

Keeping that in mind, some tips during a really rough patch might include:

  • Journal your feelings.  Journal in hospitals, waiting rooms, and cafeterias. Your deepest heart-felt thoughts will provide excellent material for later. They may become fillers, daily devotions or even greeting card verses for people in similar circumstances. Or…no one may ever see your writing, and that’s okay too. Either way, you keep up your writing habit, which will pay huge dividends later.
  • Encourage and coax, but don’t push yourself to write. Burnout occurs when the demands we put on ourselves outweigh our energy supply. Some days you just won’t be able to put pen to paper.
  • Again, write about your experiences.  It can be the best healer of all. To deal with the pain after my dad died thirty years ago, I wrote The Rose Beyond the Wall, a middle-grade novel about a grandmother with terminal cancer.  It was a book written from the heart. Despite its subject, it’s a hopeful book for children, and it sold well in hardcover and paperback. Think about doing the same thing with your experiences.

Remember that “this too shall pass,” and when it does, you’ll be in a position to share with others what you’ve learned. That’s a writer’s satisfaction that money can’t buy.

Round 'Em Up!

Published on by Kristi Holl

I haven’t done a round-up of “best writing articles on the web” in a long time. So, with that in mind, here’s what I’ve been reading lately. I think you’ll find these four articles helpful too.

In The Seven Stages of Creativity: A New Perspective on Writing a Book, I discovered that I didn’t actually understand what to do in critical second stage. A good article to print out and save.

If you ignore the author’s opening where he says that every blog post should take twenty hours to write (!), the remainder of 101 Writing Resources That’ll Take You from Stuck to Unstoppable is a real gold mine. There are ten article links on ten different topics close to a writer’s heart.

When Your Writing Routine Goes Poof is full of good common sense wisdom for re-establishing a writing routine when your old routine is interrupted, and you change to a new season of life. These are good principles to keep in mind because the seasons change with great regularity!

We all have days when we get stuck. Here is some good, sound, easy, practical advice: Procrastinating on a Writing Project? Use the 300-Words Trick.

Undo-It-Yourself Projects

Published on by Kristi Holl

(Due to illness, I am re-posting a popular article from a few years ago.)

“A bad habit never disappears miraculously; it’s an undo-it-yourself project.”~~Abigail Van Buren

We all have some self-defeating behaviors, and sometimes these behaviors can cause our writing dreams to be grounded. Through my years of writing, I certainly developed some bad habits that are counter-productive to my writing. I’m still working to break a few, but most of them are a thing of the past. We all have those habits, but no matter how or why we acquired them, breaking them is an undo-it-yourself project.

Reasons or Excuses?

Quite often I hear a list of reasons why a writer isn’t writing much–or doesn’t plan to get serious about her writing until a future time. (You know, that fantasy we all harbor somewhere deep inside about endless uninterrupted hours of quiet, someone else fixing the meals, and words flowing like water.)

There will always be reasons not to write–college classes keep you too busy, babies keep you awake, day jobs take your time, teen-agers take your energy, or elderly parents require attention. There will always be reasons to feel depressed about writing: rejections, lack of family support, or poor economic predictions.

It can be good to analyze why you’re not writing. Obviously, if you can’t pinpoint the problem, you will have trouble fixing it. While it’s good to know the reasons, though, don’t let them become an excuse to stay in your miserable non-writing rut.

Plow Past the Problem

Find a way to get past it. Talk to friends. Learn more about your craft. Set goals and deadlines. I pray first, but I don’t stop there. I also take action. (Like yesterday–I finally realized that my restless ants-in-the-pants feeling in my office was nothing more serious than the fact that I had piles of books and magazines everywhere. I don’t create well in chaos, but I’d run out of room. Solution? A new book case and instant organization. The restless block magically disappeared.)

Last month I blogged about Margie Lawson‘s online course called “Defeating Self-Defeating Behaviors.” I was dragging and had been for nearly a year, thinking my writing life was about over. The only self-defeating habits I uncovered were severe sleep debt/deprivation, a need for more stretching-type exercise, and a need to give up chocolate and sugar. I kept careful records, promising myself at the end of thirty days that I would go back to the chocolate. I just needed to know if it was contributing to my lethargy and headaches. (Oh, how I secretly hoped it wasn’t so!!!) Well, it was…

I had a bad habit of eating sweets for rewards and pick-me-ups and times I needed soothing. I stayed up too late reading (while eating chocolate), and I always thought stretching exercises (like gentle yoga) were a waste of time. Wrong on all counts! Each one was a big factor in the daily headaches, which I’ve almost licked!

No More Excuses

Breaking those three bad habits became my “undo-it-yourself” projects. Was it fun? No–especially going without chocolate. But I sure don’t miss it like I thought I would. The habits (dare I say excuses?) that interfere with your writing dreams probably aren’t the same as mine, but I can guarantee you one thing. Breaking those habits is going to ultimately be your own “undo-it-yourself” project.

It’s your life. It’s your writing life. No one will create the writing life of your dreams for you. It will require effort of your own–and lots of it. So what are you going to do with your bad writing habits?

My advice is a paraphrased Nike slogan: Just Undo It! [NOTE: Make it easier on yourself. Remember the power of mini habits when  making those changes! See Not Enough Willpower to Reach Your Goals? Make Mini Habits!]

The Best YES

Published on by Kristi Holl

One of my friends is a writing coach. She spots things in my writing life when I can’t see “the writing forest for the trees.”

She recently asked how the writing was going with my new contracted mysteries, the ones with firm deadlines that are longer than anything I’ve ever written before.

How many chapters had I written?

Truth Telling

I was embarrassed to tell her how little writing I’d accomplished in August so far. It wasn’t my fault that my writing timetable got derailed. Yes, I had scheduled quite a few babysitting days for various events. But that isn’t what did it. They were planned for weeks ago and fully enjoyed.

“It’s other people’s emergencies that got me,” I confessed.

Tell Me More

“What emergencies?” she asked.

I gave her the last week’s list. It included things like cars over-heating when someone needed to get to work. I was glad to help out, taking people to work one day and loaning my car another day. (And doing my errands during rush hour instead, a time I usually avoided.) I watched a neighbor’s kids when she didn’t want to take them with her to the dog grooming place. I filled in for someone when I should probably have been home with my sore throat. 

I didn’t feel resentful. No one’s “stuff” happened just to derail my writing or make me work late four nights in a row. I just felt tired by the time I got to my writing. Too tired to get much of it done, which made me sad. (And fearful that I might let this opportunity slip through my fingers.)

Some Hard Truths

“Yes,” my writer friend said, “emergencies DO happen. But everything you described to me is more of an inconvenience than an emergency. It’s stuff that happens to everyone: a sick child, a car needing repair, packing for a vacation, or a dog needing to go to the vet. They aren’t emergencies.”

I pondered that. Each phone call had sure sounded like an emergency.

“These people wanted you to drop everything and make their lives EASIER. They didn’t want to deal with the normal problems that everyone runs into who have children, cars, and pets. You stepped in so they didn’t have to cope. If you didn’t have some big deadlines, it might not matter. But if you don’t let others deal with their own normal problems, you’ll just fall further behind.” And maybe lose those contracts, I added silently. 

Paradigm Shift

Hmmm… It’s true that I often call other people’s problems “emergencies” that really aren’t. And it’s true that even if I still choose to help, often it could be done later, after I finish work. Just because someone wants it done now doesn’t mean it always NEEDS to be done now. Or, horror of horrors, when asked for help, I could have said, “No, I’m sorry, but I can’t today.” Period.

Writing and making deadlines is a good thing. Helping someone truly in need is also a good thing. But choosing between them can be hard.

A Christian author who deals with the tough issue of choosing between one good thing and another good thing is Lysa TerKeurst in The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands. If we use up our time and energy by saying “yes” to many unnecessary things, we won’t have any time or energy to say YES to the best things. As Lysa says, we don’t become Wonder Woman; we become worn-out woman.

If you find yourself also in the position of wanting to devote more time to writing opportunities—but so many people are wanting your time—you might enjoy this book too. I expect I’ll be blogging about it in the future.

Time for Change

In the meantime, today when you are asked to postpone your writing in order to assist someone else, stop first. Think about it.

  • Does it really require your help?
  • Does it have to be right now?
  • If the person has to wait for your help, do they take care of it themselves? [This happens a lot!]
  • Is this just a normal problem any person would have in that situation or season of life? In that case, you might be doing them more of a favor if you let them struggle and grow and mature in their role.

And while they do that, you can struggle and grow and mature in your writing. A win-win solution!

Sometimes we worry so much about being selfish that we go overboard the other way. It’s not wrong to say “no” or “not now.” And if you do it often enough, you might actually get some writing done!