writing anxiety

Your Unique Writing Gift

Published on by Kristi Holl

If you lack confidence in your writing ability… If you doubt that you have anything unique to say to a reader… If you think it doesn’t matter if you share your writing with the world, you’ll want to read this.

Your Writing is Unique

Last week when in Waco, TX, I visited the beautiful Homestead Heritage craft-based community. I found a book there called Write Words: the Grace of Writing by Blair Adams.

If you doubt that you have anything unique to share with the world through your writing, this quote might well change your mind.

You speak with a unique voice that comes from a unique perspective. Just as each person possesses a one-of-a-kind speaking voice, so each possesses just such a writing “voice.” … “if a reader says, ‘That sounds just likeyou,’ take it as a first-rate compliment. No one else experiences the world from precisely the same intersection of relationships and events, from the same angle of vision. No one else has journeyed through the same life. That life has shaped your focus on the world to give you special insights and perspectives, a special mix of knowledge and experience, information and relationships, victories and defeats, joys and sorrows, hopes and dreams. All these enable you to view and understand the world in a particular way. This unique way of seeing and saying means that from experiences re-created in written words, you can uncover and disclose insights and perspectives that will otherwise be lost to the world forever.”

Lost to the world forever: that’s what will happen if you give up on your writing projects. Don’t quit! Don’t let your work be lost to the world forever.

You would be missed.

Procrastination is a Symptom, Not the Problem

Published on by Kristi Holl

A procrastination cure: all writers want one!

I’ve read many books over the years on this subject, but none better than The Now Habit by Neil Fiore. I’ve worn out a paperback, I listen to my Audible copy of it as a refresher, and recently I bought a set of Now Habit Motivation Cards.

Why? Because I forget what I know!

So I get stuck, feel overwhelmed, blame myself for STILL dealing with procrastination, and then frequently eat a snack and find something on Netflix. That is, I USED to do this, and fairly frequently too.

Trying Something New to Beat Procrastination

Lately I’ve chosen one card from the motivation pack each morning, read it, then reviewed that card several times throughout the day. It reminds me of things I already know (but have temporarily forgotten), especially the practical “fixes” and easy solutions for my fear and feelings of pressure.

For example, here is the card that sat on my desk all day. I put in a long day copyediting, but I still needed to write a short blog and do one other writing task. I felt overwhelmed, even though what I had left to do wouldn’t take more than an hour. Then . . . I spotted the motivational card propped up against my desk lamp. This is what it says:

Generally we are taught that procrastination is the problem, rather than a symptom of other problems. This diagnosis, instead of directing your efforts toward ending the cycle of pressure, fear, and procrastination, unfortunately makes matters worse by blaming you for choosing such an awful habit. A diagnosis without a treatment plan is almost useless. A more helpful diagnosis would point you toward your next action step: Start now. Do something for five minutes.

And that’s what I did. I spent a few minutes creating a title. That’s all it took. Getting started is the tough part. Everything settled down then, I was able to say what I wanted to say, and the blog post got written.

Remind Yourself of What You Already Know

Getting started is always so much harder than continuing. An object in motion stays in motion (says Isaac Newton’s First Law of Motion), but for most writers, getting that object to move in the first place is the real trick! If that’s your challenge too, I urge you to try The Now Habit (in any of its forms.) It will break through the procrastination and get you on your way. 

Writing in the Yoke: Become an Easy Writer

Published on by Kristi Holl

We are invited to get into the yoke with Jesus to do the writing God has called us to do. (Matthew 11:28-30) This way of working promises ease and rest for our souls. However, writing with ease and a light burden was not my writing experience for 35 years (not since writing changed from hobby-writing in a closet painted orange to a means of keeping a roof over our heads). 

I had my time-tested, never-fail method to meet deadlines (claim Bible verses about strength, grit teeth, white knuckle it and “just do it!” ) However, almost a year ago, my method stopped working. There were many factors. Even before dealing with Covid, life had become one thing piled on top of another to the point that, unless I discovered a much easier writing method, I would need to quit. Retire. Pack it in.

I couldn’t stand the idea. I loved the project I was working on, but something would have to change. One morning I was reading some familiar verses when they suddenly took on new meaning.  

Writing Made Easy

yoke“Come to Me, all who are weary and heavily laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For MY yoke is easy to bear, and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

If His yoke was easy to carry, then whose heavy yoke was I in? I needed a new working style. Could I manage to switch yokes? I needed to learn more about yokes.

Equally or Unequally Yoked?

equal yoke

Farmers know that two animals yoked together must be suited to work in tandem.  If one is big and stronger than the other, injury or failure is certain. Deuteronomy 22:10 says, “Thou shalt not plow with an ox and an ass together.” They are different both in strength and temperament.

So, at first glance, the invitation to get into the yoke with Jesus seems unworkable. None of us imagines that we are equally powerful! Actually, Jesus had in mind a different kind of yoke. They were hand-carved to fit the animals perfectly so the yoke didn’t rub and cause irritation, no matter how different the animals were in size or strength.

unequal yokeSo, in Jerusalem at the time Jesus was speaking, a yoke often did join two unequal animals for a specific purpose; one was older or stronger or wiser, and the other was young and inexperienced. The animals were yoked together so that the more experienced animal could teach the younger, weaker animal how to do the work without strain, injury and being burdened down. (A perfect description of Matt. 11:28-30.)

So how would that work for my writing? Could I learn to “write in the yoke” for the rest of my career? These promises gave me hope: “I will give you rest…you will find rest for your souls… my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

So, I have been experimenting with a writing method based on those verses. Could I write without stress and pressure and drama, but still have a peaceful rested soul?Happily, I am learning that the answer can be yes.

Types of Days in the Yoke

For me, writing in the yoke means responding to the Lord’s gentle tug or slight inner pressure to get moving—or to stop. This means writing at the Lord’s pace, because He knows what schedule works best for my health and writing.

There is a learning curve to this. I have three distinct types of “days in the yoke.” Some days my “stubborn donkey” wants to procrastinate, ignoring the tug to get writing. Resisting the gentle pull, I sometimes dig my feet in with determination. I write either with reluctance or downright resistance.

Other days my donkey over-reacts in the opposite direction. I am behind schedule, so letting the bigger animal set the pace feels too risky. I worry that the gentle steady pace can’t possibly produce the words on time! So I try to hurry Him along, push and strain, and check my watch and word count continuously.

Glorious Writing in the Yoke

Thankfully, there is a third type of day, which happens more frequently the longer you practice. These I call the Glorious Writing Days, when I get in the yoke early in the day, stay in it, and start and stop when I feel the gentle tugs and nudges. I don’t clock watch, and I don’t count words till the end of the day. Amazingly, I produce more writing (often lots of it!) but with no ill effects of physical pain or emotional exhaustion. I even quit by 5:00, something I hadn’t done in years! It produces a satisfying, contented tired feeling from being productive without hurting myself.

My experiment with “writing in the yoke” seems to be working. Slowly but surely, I am transforming from a hard-working, burned-out writer to a productive writer who can work with ease. I had prayed for years about improving my health and stamina so I would never have to retire simply because I couldn’t physically do the job anymore. Becoming an “easy writer” appears to be a very big piece of that answer.

[First published August 23, 2020 on the ACFW National website]

Books for Discouraged or Overwhelmed Writers

Published on by Kristi Holl
Young overwhelmed woman.

During the summer, when trying to stay above the health issues and do things with my grandkids and keep up with a few strict publishing deadlines, I read two books that were especially helpful.

I found I was fighting on a regular basis two discouraging ideas.

One: what had happened to my “dream” novel, the novel of my heart, while dealing with all these other urgent things? It had floundered.

Two: how could I get a handle on everything that had piled up and still get back to my dream novel? [I had a conference coming up where I had signed up to pitch my novel to an editor and agent. If “life” hadn’t interfered for months, I could have easily had it finished.]

As so often happens with me, my prayers for help led me to a book. Or, in this case, two books. One fed my soul with encouragement. The other gave me the practical help and coaching that I needed to get perspective. I don’t believe in re-inventing the wheel if someone else has already solved a problem and written about it. Maybe one or both of these books will help you too.

The Dream Giver

This book inspired me at a time I needed to know that my dream of the last five years wasn’t dead or dying, but meant to be. The Dream Giver: Following Your God-Given Destiny by Bruce Wilkinson has been a bestseller for many years. Here’s the back blurb (and yes, it’s a Christian book.)

“Are you living your dream? Or just living your life? Welcome to a little story about a very big idea. This compelling modern-day parable tells the story of Ordinary, who dares to leave the Land of Familiar to pursue his Big Dream. [Note: it follows the ups and downs of achieving his dream. I could identify with all the stages!] You, too, have been give a Big Dream. One that can change your life. One that the Dream Giver wants you to achieve. Does your Big Dream seem hopelessly out of reach? Are you waiting for something or someone to make your dream happen? Then you’re ready for The Dream Giver.”

Growing Gills

This book was recommended to me by a blog reader who gave such a rave review of this book that I had to check it out. I’m so glad I did! Growing Gills: How to Find Creative Focus When You’re Drowning in Your Daily Life by Jessica Abel is so very good. Don’t you love that title? Jessica also has a great blog. ( Click and scroll down.) Growing Gills comes with a free workbook you can download and print out, which I did, and then work through the exercises to do what her title promises. Here’s part of  the blurb:

“Go from overwhelmed, anxious, and stuck, to consistent, clear, and in control of your creative life. If you feel like you’re floundering in the deep end (Not waving, drowning!), and anxiety over the complexity and enormousness of your creative projects overwhelms you, stop scrambling to fit everything in and feeling stretched thin.

Dive Deep and Swim

  • Sustain the energy you feel when thinking of how awesome your projects could be.
  • Value your own creative work as highly as work you do for other people.
  • Build a reusable structure and process that will consistently get you to the finish line.
  • Blast through your stuck-ness.
  • Finish. Move on to the next project.

You’re a creative person. Even if you have a hard time calling yourself a “writer” or an “artist” in public, making your creative work is core to who you are and how you see the world. You may be harboring a big, ambitious idea for a project. Possibly a lot of them. And it’s killing you.

You lie awake thinking about it…and hating yourself for not doing more to make it real. And then in the morning you’re exhausted, and you can’t believe you “wasted” more time on this stupid idea. Whoever told you that you were creative anyway? You try to shove your idea away, to forget it. But your creative work is what keeps you sane. You can’t not do this. So you live with guilt and anxiety all the time.” [If you follow the workbook as you read her book, this can be a thing of the past.]

 

Wounds from the Game of Writing: Earning Battle Scars

Published on by Kristi Holl

Wounds: we all get them.

During the 1988 Jamboree encampment of 32,000 Boy Scouts, one troop (38 Scouts) led the entire Jamboree in cuts treated at the medical tent.

The huge number of nicks from busy knives sounded negative until someone toured the camp and saw the unique artistic walking sticks each boy in that troop had made. They led the entire encampment in other kinds of games, too.

Wounds simply mean that you’re in the game. It’s true for Boy Scouts—and it’s true for writers as well.

What Wounds?

I know an excellent writer who has revised a book for years. But she won’t submit it, even though everyone who has read it feels the book is ready. What benefit does she get from that? She never has to face rejection. She never has to hear an editor say, “This is good, but it needs work.” She never has to read a bad review of her book, or do any speaking engagements to promote her work, or learn how to put together a website.

She will also never feel the exhilaration of holding her published book in her hands. She won’t get letters from readers who tell her how much her book means to them and has helped them. She won’t get a starred review or win an award or do a book signing. She won’t move on and write a second (and third and fourth) book.

Paying the Price

If you want to be a writer, you have to risk a few wounds. Figure out ways to bandage them and recover from them, but don’t be afraid of getting them. They’re simply a sign that you’re a writer. 

Make a list of the parts of the writing life that make you want to stay on the sidelines and out of the line of fire. It might be a fear of rejection, a fear of approaching editors or agents at a conference, fear of online harassment on social media, fear of walking into a writing group for the first time, fear of your mother’s reaction to your novel, fear of bad reviews, or something else. There are books out there for writers dealing with all of these things. Identify your issues, deal with them, and then get in the game!

And later, wear your battle scars proudly!

Unhappiness: a Positive Sign for Writers

Published on by Kristi Holl

unhappinessHave you ever considered the fact that unhappiness is the first step along the writer’s path?

“Toddlers are bursting with the anxiety and helplessness of having feelings that they can’t get anybody around them to understand. They don’t even have the right words in their heads yet—it’s all emotion and frustration. That’s also an accurate description of writers in step one.” This is how Nancy Pickard and Lynn Lott describe the first of their Seven Steps on the Writer’s Path: the Journey from Frustration to Fulfillment. [I highly recommend this book, by the way.]

This unhappiness may feel like an itchy feeling under your skin. It may feel like an urge to change something. Call it restlessness or discontent or creative tension. “Unhappiness,” say the authors, “to one degree or another, is where all creativity begins.”

Message in the Misery

If you’re starting to feel that itch to change something in your life, you’re moving into Step One. Maybe you don’t feel unhappy exactly. Maybe you’re just restless. But if this tension is trying to tell you that you’re a writer who should be writing, it can very quickly turn into discomfort and then misery if you don’t pay attention to it.

Even published writers in a long-time career can feel this unhappiness or tension when it’s time to make a change. “Every important turn on my writer’s path has been preceded by unhappiness,” Nancy Pickard admits. “The more major the turn, the worse the misery.” (I can certainly identify with that! I get bored first, after writing in the same genre or on the same subjects for years. I itch to try something new or more challenging, something fresh that will stretch me again.)

Brands of Writer Unhappiness

If you’ve been writing for a long time, this unhappy first step on the writer’s path may have more specific origins. It might be the misery of being in a day job you’d give anything to quit so you could write full-time. Or it’s the misery of a writer’s block that just won’t budge—perhaps for months. It might be the misery of when your proposal has been rejected by a dozen editors or agents—and your spouse has told you to get “a real job.”

What About You?

There are many signs, according to these authors, that you are in the first step along the writer’s path (the first of seven very identifiable steps, in which the authors offer practical solutions). I had always assumed that the beginning stages (for other writers) was a time of great excitement, a happy eager time. I was glad to find that I wasn’t the only one who was boosted into action for the opposite reason!

How about YOU? How do YOU know when it’s time to get creative?

Perfectionist Writers

Published on by Kristi Holl

Does perfectionism keep you from getting started on your writing? Does trying to write your best create pressure for you?

If you, you’ll be encouraged something in Art & Fear: Observations On the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking by David Bayles and Ted Orland. It’s about being a perfectionist–and how to deal with the pressure it generates in all artists, including writers. Read about this experiment:

“The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class, he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pounds of pots rated an “A”, forty pounds a “B”, and so on. Those being graded on “quality”, however, needed to produce only one pot–albeit a perfect one–to get an “A”. Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work–and learning from their mistakes–the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.”

Quality from Quantity

Isn’t that a fascinating experiment? I know that we get better by writing more, like a piano player gets better by practicing more. But what struck me is how much more FUN the first group must have had (while at the same time producing superior pots.) They were just trying to create a lot of pots, without any emphasis at all on the finished product.

Could I use the results of this experiment to revamp my own writing that was often stalled by the perfectionist demon?

Reforming the Perfectionist

I decided to try an experiment of my own this morning. Most days I more closely resemble a pot maker from Group B: stewing, not writing, being unhappy with results and scrapping them, judging, blocking, and finally quitting for the day. Today I decided to be a Group A pot-making writer and just relax. I stayed off the Internet till noon and just wrote–a lot. [I had already outlined my book.] My only goal was to produce a lot of pages. I wrote for three hours with intermittent short breaks, and I had fun! From what I can tell, the nice pile of finished pages aren’t half bad either.

I think I’m onto something here! Don’t try to write the Great American Novel today. Just make some pots, lots of pots!

Facing Your Creative Fears (Part 2)

Published on by Kristi Holl

(First read Part 1 of “Facing Your Creative Fears.”)

3. Third, if your fears are real, face them squarely and deal with them. Do you really lack sufficient writing skills? If so, enroll in a course. Study writing books on your own. Analyze the books you love best to see how those authors did what they did. Take a public speaking course if you want to be a storyteller or give talks for groups. Take an assertiveness course or get help for your codependency if nasty family members really are holding you back from trying.

Work to improve, but don’t get caught in the “perfection trap” by accident. “It is indeed important to strive for excellence in creative endeavor,” says Thomas Kinkade. “It’s important to grow in skill, improve technique. But if we make a god of perfection, we risk pushing ourselves into a creative desert. We’re afraid to try because we’re afraid we won’t be good.”

Feelings of Fear are Real

“But I am afraid!” you say, terror creeping in around the edges of your voice. I know you are. I’ll tell you a secret. We all are. We wear masks to hide it, but we all deal with the fear of writing. How? We learned, finally, to do the writing afraid. We learned that fear didn’t have to stop us, that most things we could go ahead and do whether we were scared or not.

We research, even if we’re afraid our idea is overdone. We write rough drafts, even when we’re afraid the whole thing stinks. We submit to publishers, even though we’re afraid that editors cringe when they spot our name on a manuscript. Of course, the magic finally occurs. After many, many repetitions, the fear disperses. It almost disappears.

Just don’t imagine that you can eradicate all your writing fears. As Ralph Keyes wrote in The Courage to Write, “Finding the courage to write does not involve erasing or conquering one’s fears. Working writers aren’t those who have eliminated their anxiety. They are the ones who keep scribbling while their heart races and their stomach churns, and who mail manuscripts with trembling fingers.”

A Writer’s Job Description
Susan Jeffers wrote a book some years ago called Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. The title says it all. It’s okay to feel the emotion of fear; it doesn’t mean we have to turn tail and run.

I’m a great believer in Mini Habits, with teeny tiny goals (such as, “I will write for five minutes today.”) I feel no resistance to writing for five minutes, so it takes no motivation or willpower to do it. And, of course, it often goes way beyond five minutes. This would help many of you too. The act of writing would dispel many of your fears. If you could see my office, you’d notice the four signs I have taped up that say in big, bold letters, “Work! Don’t worry. Inaction feeds worry. Action attacks worry.” Yes, even five minutes of writing will do so.

Do It Today!

Don’t stay frozen. Tackle those fears. Start small. Celebrate each baby step taken as a victory. Don’t hesitate to ask people for advice and encouragement. Study books. Listen to audio tapes. Read articles. Make banners or posters for your office. Leave Post-It notes on your computer. Use every means possible to remind yourself that you can conquer the thing that you fear. You’ve conquered fears in the past, and you can do it again! Don’t let fear stand between you and the writing career of your dreams.

Facing Your Creative Fears

Published on by Kristi Holl

“Every tomorrow has two handles,” Henry Ward Beecher once said. “We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.”

I’ve been thinking about this while hostessing the October and November writing challenges and reading between the lines of some questions and comments.

It’s a Choice…Really!

All our writing tomorrows give us that very same choice: fear or faith in our creativity. Do we face our blank computer screens or empty tablets with fear or with faith? Faith encourages us and spurs us on. Fears paralyze—and need to be dealt with.

Writing anxiety comes in many forms and develops for a variety of reasons. If we harbor writing fears, how can we identify them, eliminate them, then regain faith in our writing tomorrows?

Dealing with creative fears generally involves a three-part process.
1. First, identify the fears. Otherwise you’re only shadow boxing. What are you afraid of? That your ideas are stupid or overdone? That you don’t have the talent to be a published writer? That your friends or family will ridicule you when they find out what you’re trying to do? That you’ll be rejected? That you’ll be wasting your time, that being a writer is just a dream that will dissolve in the face of reality? That you’ll never be more than a mid-list author on the brink of oblivion?

Writers have many fears, and this takes many new authors by surprise. “It’s a vital thing to remember both as creative people and those who have the opportunity to nurture the creativity in others: Creativity requires courage!” said Thomas Kinkade in Lightposts for Living. “It takes courage to push ourselves off center, to think in nonstandard ways, to journey outside the ruts. It also takes courage to resist the pressure of those who very much prefer to walk in those ruts.”

2. Second, if your fears are just myths, debunk them. Write down and study your list of fears. Will your husband/wife really laugh at you for wanting to write? Do you really not have any talent? (What about your writing teacher or critique partner who loves your stories?) Will you really go insane like all the famous writers you’ve read about? (Well, actually, you might. . . just kidding!) In The Courage to Write, Ralph Keyes says, “All writers must confront their fears eventually. The sooner they do this, the better their work will be.”

Besides, if you don’t, you’ll go from blocked to frozen, then give up. Quitting is failing. While none of us may ever totally conquer our writing fears—and some experts say that this writing “anxiety” is actually indispensable writing energy—we can rise above the fears sufficiently so that we can work. And in doing the work, day in and day out, the fears begin to dissolve. They become like the monster we were so sure, as children, that lurked under our bed. After enough years of NOT being eaten alive at night or being grabbed by the ankles when we jumped out of bed, we finally concluded the monster was in our imagination and forgot about it. Most of your writing fears will do the same thing IF you face them and feel them—and write anyway.

(Come back Friday for ways to deal with the fears.)

Forget About Age

Published on by Kristi Holl

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”  –Satchel Paige

Two writers in the past month mentioned that they were probably too old to start writing. One had waited till her last child had graduated. Another had waited until he retired.

I’d like to debunk that “I’m too old” myth. It’s never too late to get started! It’s always a good time to tackle a new dream.

Jessica Tandy won the Academy Award for Best Actress at age eighty. James Michener didn’t write his first novel until age forty-two, then produced a gazillion bestsellers before he died at age ninety. There’s a woman in my neighborhood who can out-run me, and she’s at least seventy-five now. Youth isn’t everything–not in physical endeavors, nor mental ones.

Experience Rules!

Become comfortable with your current age, even if it’s not what you wish it were. You have tremendous writing potential because you’ve lived long enough to have learned a lot. You have life experience!

For example, years ago I had an elderly student (70’s) who wrote beautiful historical fiction lifted straight out of her childhood–a la Laura Ingalls Wilder. She loved doing it! She didn’t have to do any research, yet her descriptions were superb and rich with detail because she drew on her personal experiences.

Time’s a Wastin’

If writing and publishing are aspirations for you–but you’ve come to it later in life than others–please don’t let that stop you. If you come to the end of your life, will you be disappointed that you didn’t try? I think you will.

You have the same qualities that drive younger writers: creativity,  perseverance, and a passion to succeed. You may not have as much energy, but you probably have a much larger pool of ideas and experiences to draw from. Don’t be afraid to start something new at any stage of life. Chances are good that, if you apply yourself like any other writer, it’s not too late to succeed.