My best friend (who once lost 100 pounds) leads a successful weekly weight loss group. This week she and I discussed how much time it takes to stay on top of habits you are changing.
Sometimes I am shocked at how much time it takes to maintain your success. (Not move ahead, mind you. Just not go backwards.) I was struck by the similarities of her discovery and my own (pertaining to new writing habits.)
Be Warned!
Just as it’s easy to regain weight you’ve lost, it’s also easy to slip back into the old habits that left you with no time or energy to write. It’s oh-so-easy to slowly slide backwards. You’ve made a lot of gains—but you also must maintain. How?
Ultimately, the answer lies in how you think.
Single-Minded Focus
“There are approximately 5 percent of people in any country, in any nation, who will always raise the quality of their life above others. They so do because they choose how to think, day in, day out,” says Richard Bisiker, author of Unlock Your Personal Potential.
In other words, where the mind (or thinking) goes, the man follows. Raise the quality of your thinking, and raise the quality of your life.
It’s important to keep your mind focused daily on your new beliefs, your new boundaries, and your new time-saving policies. Why is monitoring your thinking so important? As psychologist William James said, “That which holds our attention determines our action.”
So, at least until all your new behaviors and attitudes are rock solid habits, pay attention daily to your new beliefs and goals. Each morning, plan ahead daily for interruptions and how to divert them. (“No, I can’t discuss that right now. I’ll phone you back at 5:00 p.m. and set up a time to talk.”) Or better yet, use your answering machine to avoid being pressured into snap decisions.
Review
Weekly and monthly, study your schedule of how you actually spent your time and compare it to your goals and policies. Is there slippage? Where did the writing time go?
Did you get guilted into one more volunteer job or another home decorating party? Did you rescue someone again from consequences of their own actions, using your time to fix their self-created problem? Be ruthless as you examine how you actually spent your time.
Learn from both your successes and mistakes. What things worked that you’d like to repeat? What things would you like to change? Calendars and journals remind you of how you spent your time, show you whether your activities match your priorities, and help you see whether you are making progress.
If you’re not sure you’ll do this essential checking up, find an accountability partner (writer or nonwriter) who will ask you the hard questions every week. The accountability check-in for time spent writing will prevent bad habits from sneaking back in unnoticed.
Setbacks Before Success
Sometimes interruptions occur that no one can help or avoid. You need to drop everything and attend to your sick child. Or there’s been a car accident, or in-laws have arrived for the holidays. The key to rebounding from these necessary interruptions is to view them as one-time events—not your new lifestyle. The events have a beginning, a middle, and an ending. Then you go back to your previous writing schedule.
You do not stay stuck in the familiar people-pleasing role. See unavoidable interruptions as temporary. [See the previous entry on “Achieving Writing Goals Made Simple” for a great tool to deal with this issue.)
A New Routine
In order to maintain your new writing life—and keep on gaining—certain things need to be done daily. Every day you will need to reflect on your life and chart your course. Every day you will need to renew the promise you made to yourself to make time to create. Every day you will need to seek out solitude where you can create. Every day you will need to take some action—small, medium or large—in the creation of your writing life. Every day you must plan how to spend your time that day—then follow that plan.
Be vigilant. Be diligent to put these habits into practice daily–and watch your creativity flourish. You’ll no longer dream of having a writing life. You’ll be living it.