Women are givers. Women writers are some of the most giving people I know.

We tend to have stronger relationships because of it–with babies, grown children, grandchildren, friends, and extended family.

But unless you learn how to balance all this giving with replenishment found in solitude, you’ll find it nearly impossible to write. Every time in the 35 years of my career that I reached burnout, it was for this very reason.

Gift from the Sea

Each of those seasons of life contained particularly busy family times, with little sleep and even less time to write. I wouldn’t go back and change any of it either–very rewarding times. But there comes a time when you realize you’re close to being drained. This past year I hit two such periods, once after an illness, another one after breaking my wrist in four places and being in casts for eleven weeks.  Pay attention to those times, or you’ll pay for it later (in your health, in your lack of writing, and in lack of patience with those around you).

This morning I was reading a bit in one of my favorite little books, Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s book, Gift from the Sea. I re-read it at least once a year. Here are a few snippets that might speak to you giving women:

• What a circus act we women perform every day of our lives. It leads . . . to fragmentation. It does not bring grace; it destroys the soul.
• Eternally, woman spills herself away in driblets to the thirsty, seldom being allowed the time, the quiet, the peace, to let the pitcher fill up to the brim.
• Only when one is connected to one’s own core is one connected to others, I am beginning to discover. And, for me, the core, the inner spring, can best be refound through solitude.
• One must lose one’s life to find it. Woman can best refind herself by losing herself in some kind of creative activity of her own.

Finding Solitude

If you find yourself feeling fragmented and agitated today, find a way to steal away from everyone for even ten minutes of total solitude (and if possible, silence). Breathe deeply. Bring the energy spilled on everyone else back inside for a few minutes. Re-focus. Relax.

If you have a couple hours, get a copy of Gift from the Sea and read straight through it. You’ll love it!